Personal growth June 1, 2017 By
Do you ever find yourself completely worn out by the relational storms around you? Perhaps it’s your relationship with a spouse, or a teenager. Maybe it’s your boss, or your work environment. Wouldn’t you love to find a way to deal with these kinds of storms in a positive and proactive way?
One of the books that is often on our "Recommended Reading" list is called “The Power of TED*” TED is an acronym for The Empowerment Dynamic. You may be wondering what The Empowerment Dynamic is and how it can affect you. In a nutshell, this book is about the simple act of leaving the Drama Triangle for a new way of living—known as The Empowerment Dynamic.
What is the Drama Triangle? The Drama Triangle, first described by Stephen Karpman, describes three damaging or unhelpful mindsets – The Victim, The Persecutor, and The Rescuer. If and when you find yourself operating from any of the three unhelpful mindsets, you may feel trapped in the Drama Triangle and you may experience accompanying negative emotions in your life.
In “The Power of TED,” author David Emerald introduces a new framework that he describes as the antidote to The Drama Triangle. This antidote, “The Empowerment Dynamic,” is used to help you intentionally shift your mindset and behavioral approach in order to optimize your performance and achieve positive results in your interaction with others. When you make a shift toward The Empowerment Dynamic, you can achieve greater sense of awareness and you will find that additional choices become available. The book will encourage you to become a Creator when you may feel like a Victim, to become a Challenger when you may be tempted to behave like a Persecutor, and to become a Coach when your natural tendency may be to act as a Rescuer.
It is important to understand that these “mindsets” or “modes” in the Drama Triangle happen to all of us, all the time. They are not fixed personality traits. The benefit of the book is that it helps you to make a choice to leave The Drama Triangle and move toward The Empowerment Dynamic. Here are some ways to begin to make that shift:
- To shift from Victim to Creator – Move from reacting to choosing and ask yourself, “What is it I really want?”
- To shift from Persecutor to Challenger – Move from tearing down to building up and ask yourself, “What new skills is this situation calling for?”
- To shift from Rescuer to Coach – Move from telling to asking and ask yourself, “What can I do to support them in their own learning?”
If you find yourself surrounded by “drama” in your home life, your work life, or in any relationship you’re a part of, The Power of TED* is for you. If you would like to purchase your very own copy of "The Power of Ted," please stop by any of our new Spend Life Wisely lobbies at First United Bank or you can also visit the TED Shop online for books, workbooks, MP3s, etc.
